So I’ve officially decided that I’m done trying to start anything with people.
I’ve been putting in too much effort and energy into something which hasn’t bore any fruit, and that I’m not entirely sure I like anyways. So I’m not going to try anymore, as much as I am terribly attracted to the idea, and wanted to. I’m just not.
I haven’t got the time or the patience for it right now, and I guess it’s just not meant to happen. It simplifies life so much when you’re not going to give people anymore than they deserve. And I think from now on I’ll stick to what I know and leave that business with those who want it more. I’m just getting in their way anyways, it’s also causing me far too much distraction from more important tasks such as my studies. It isn’t even as though I’m giving up or quitting, I just don’t want it anymore.
I really just need to think things through more before deciding on a course of action, I feel like I’ve been wasting my time and I absolutely hate waste. I’m going to put my effort toward more effective ventures from this point on and hopefully will get more bang for my buck.
“I don’t even begin to understand what you are all doing, running around pulling knobs and twisting levers. That’s not even how one operates knobs and levers. You’re all just sheep, nothing wrong with sheep though. Better than people, at least sheep never invented orange soda. Don’t get me wrong, I love orange soda, but ask yourself: Is it right?”—Devin Friend
So as week two of being single rolls around, there are significant changes in my behavior. People seem to appreciate it a little more so I suppose these changes will continue. I’m not too sure how they are actually taking it. I wish I could get an honest appraisal of my actions, but I can’t rightly ask people to evaluate my life. That would be far too much of a task, and I’m not nearly as observant of myself as I am of others.
I’ve surely enjoyed the freedom that comes with being single; the lack of stress, no guilt when flirting with other people (that takes a little of the excitement away but it feels like the right way to do it), the dependency on me was the largest stressor related to my relationship, but I feel like there will be good done by people learning to become independent.
There’s so many things going on right now it’s hard to pick which one is more important. I guess I’ll know which one to choose when I get to it.